Itcha Itcha Temari
by Crash AKA Valerie
Summary: Jiraiya loves writing his perverted little books, Temari on the other hand is looking for blood after being the star of one.


1

AN: Sorry for inaccuracies but I am only up to episode 153.

AN: Keep in mind during part one Temari is 15 and Jiraiya is 50

AN: Sry one more, The _italics_ are kinda MA

_He watched transfixed as she stood gracefully on the limb of a nearby tree. Beautiful teal eyes scanning the horizon for any signs of danger. Feeling safe in the deep of the woods she seemed to relax and squatted down pushing her hands against the branch of the tree she was on. The light shone through the tops of the trees giving her an even more angelic look. _

_One look at the headband delicately hanging from her neck and he knew that this was a sand village ninja. She relaxed more and allowed herself to sit legs on both sides of the branch, her short purple skirt rising allowing her legs to hang freely. She reached behind her and pulled a heavy metal fan off her back and leaned it against the trunk by her in case she needed it. _

_She reached up and one-by-one pulled her hair out of the four sloppy pigtails she had done. The hair at full length stretched down to the start of her light purple top, the longest strand just missing the top of the white corset she was wearing. A light breeze swept through the woods and made her hair sway and the ribbon around her stomach danced in the wind for a moment. _

_She looked young barely sixteen, and at first glance it would appear she was alone, but she wasn't. Two long legs appeared in front of her as the man she was waiting for came to her. The man who came also squatted down to her level much as she had when she first reached her resting place. Her hands didn't wait to lunge at him and wrap themselves around his neck as she kissed him begging for entrance with her tongue. _

_Her young partner was more than happy to oblige opening his mouth to her pleasure and searching her body with his hands. He pulled away from the kiss and looked her over from head to toe. She spread her legs apart further allowing the skirt to rise up more and reveal the fact that she was barely wearing any underwear and what she was wearing was sopping wet from her heavy desire for him. _

_"What are you willing to do for me?" He asked in a seductive voice which made her whole body shiver and cause her body to release even more liquid waiting for the intimate interaction it so desperately desired. _

_"Anything." She gasped out without worrying what request the young man may have. He seemed to smirk in approval. "Please." She whimpered out not wanting to hold the pleasure from her body any longer. He leaned forward again and lightly bit her ear. His hand was slowly rising up her inner thigh, and towards her sleek sopping wet opening. _

"Hmm." Kakashi moaned slightly as he Naruto and Sakura sat in the ramen shop waiting for their food. Sakura gave him a displeased look and Naruto kept trying to peak at the book over his shoulder. He closed his book, as their orders were sent to them., and slipped it into his pocket.

"I don't know who is worse the pervert that writes these books or the perverts who read them." Naruto stated referring to his two teachers. His statement was ignored by Kakashi who was eating his meal quickly, clearly so he could get back to his book. "So what is the story this time beautiful twenty year old virgin giving herself to her rescuer?" Naruto asked trying to at least get conversation.

"No sand village ninja willing to do many things with a stranger in the woods, and apparently a rather large metal fan." Kakashi answered plainly already reading the book again. Naruto suddenly had a look of interest and Sakura seemed sickened by the discussion that was starting.

"Wait No way he would write something that was interesting!" Naruto yelled trying to grab the book out of his hands. Finally giving up, after remembering how he failed the test with the bells, he asked another question. "At least tell me what she looks like!" He yelled.

"Young sixteen, Blonde, corset, Purple Skirt." Kakashi said plainly as he finished his dish. Sakura's eyes widened. He looked over in concern. "Sakura?"

"They didn't say what the characters name was did they?" Sakura asked. Kakashi seemed to flip through the book a little and then nodded his head in a "no". Sakura's face seemed to drop. "Naruto, doesn't that sound a lot like Temari?" She asked softly.

—

Naruto quickly ran off to find his older more perverted sensei after he finished eating. He dashed down streets and around corners knocking people over as they got in his way. Finally finding him he pointed at him and lunged for him.

"There you are perverted hermit, What's the big idea?" He asked. Jiraiya just looked on confused, which was always the look he gave off when dealing with somebody as idiotic as Naruto.

"Whats what idea?" He asked calmly.

"Your new book!" Naruto yelled. Jiraiya's eyes lit up enthusiastically.

"You heard about it, this book is already a hit!" He said proudly. "Only been out two days and it has already sold more copies than any of my other books! Just think about it kid I think I hit gold." Jiraiya said happily. Naruto's face still looked accusing.

"The girl in the book, what is her name?!" Naruto asked rather loudly, several of the men around them stopped and listened obviously readers of the book. Jiraiya looked at him plainly.

"The girl in the book has no name! She is the beautiful desert temptress who remains unknown to those who stumble upon her!" Jiraiya bellowed in his usual obnoxious voice. The men around them all went about their business after hearing this one talking to his friend about the book. The two of them walked along the village while Naruto was waiting to get him alone so he could seriously ask him. Finally the time came and they were alone.

"Jiraiya sensei, the girl in your book is a real girl isn't it?" Naruto asked. Jiraiya didn't respond. "You've been peeping on Temari haven't you." Naruto accused. Jiraiya finally acknowledged him.

"Oh your still here?" Naruto looked like he was ready to explode with anger. "I have done no peeping of the sort, I met this girl in the woods during one of my missions and used her appearance as the main characters."

"Yea right, it happened during on of your peeking missions!" Naruto yelled pointing at him.

"Look kid, this has nothing to do with peeping but this is going to be big. Check this out." He tossed another book at Naruto, Blood splattered sandbox. Naruto, purely out of curiosity flipped open the book and red a quick exert.

_**Blood Splattered Sandbox**_

_She lay weak panting on the blood stained grass, allowing the hands of the winning team travel the many parts of her body. She could hear one say something, but she couldn't make out what was being said. She felt one of the men remove the sash from around her waist. Her corset top was at the same time carelessly pulled off and thrown across the clearing by another. The sash that was around her waist was now being tied over her eyes. Another man had taken out the knife and had begun cutting her panties off while leaving a line of blood across her entrance from where he had cut her. He wiped his finger across the cut and collected the blood on his finger. _

_"Look boys she wet." He said rubbing the blood over her entrance. _

Naruto closed the book after that passage not wanting to read anymore when he actually knew the person that the story was being based on. He looked up at jiraiya a look of discomfort on his face.

"Maybe your not old enough for these kinds of books.

"Pervert! She's going to kill you when she finds out you have based such a perverted book off of her.

"Now, now Naruto, I believe you are over-reacting. Nobody will make the connection to her. She'll never even know that she was my most powerful muse." Jiraiya commented rubbing his cheek thoughtfully. Just barely missing the young sand ninja walking past him.

Temari had never been so exhausted in her life. She had been gone on a two week mission only to return home and be bombarded by just about every sand-village male inhabitant. She sat in the alley between two small shops, where the shadows, thankfully, hid her from every passerby.

In her hands she held a small orange book, which she had somehow come into possession of, when she fought off one of the more persistent males she ad come into contact with. This book was really confusing to her at the moment. She knew that many of the adult males in her village read it, but she was also aware that most had the decency to hide their fandom.

Two people today had not hidden their reading habits at all. Two men had actually waved the book at her, and yelled the name "dessert mistress" at her. Her curiosity overwhelmed her and she started reading the book, to her best ability given the poor lighting in the alley. Her face started off with a look of pure interest, than mutated to a fac containing only fury.

She snapped the book shut, and flung it as hard as she could into the wall opposite her, which was only about four feet away. She stormed out of the alley, no longer concerned with avoiding the male population, only concerned with finding the author and beating him over his head with her fan until his face was no longer recognizable.

"Sand Temptress." A meek voice greeted from behind her. She turned around, fan in her hand, ready to attack the man until she realized who it was that had spoken to her. Kankaru stood behind her with a smug look on his face. "Never thought anybody would picture you in such a way." He admitted holding up the book.

"You read it?" Temari asked practically yelling at her younger brother. Her free fist balling into a tight fist as though she was going to deck her own brother, which she was honestly thinking of doing.

"The series yea, I read it. I read this one for about five paragraphs before I realized it was about you." Kankaru answered plainly, as though admitting he read such filth was no big deal. "So, no doubt this has got your panties in a bunch, what are you going to do about it?" He questioned.

"I am going to kill the bastard that wrote this!" Temari yelled. Not caring that her outburst may draw attention from any nearby males that she had tactfully avoided a few minutes earlier.

"That may be easier, if you knew who wrote it." Kankaru through his book at her. "As you see the author does not put his name on his work." Kankaru continued.

"Clearly because if he did the woman he based it off of would murder him in his sleep." Temari snorted. He anger was beginning to escalate again.

"That Naruto kid knows the man that writes them though, I overheard the two of them talking while I was on a mission in Konoha." Kankaru admitted looking forward to see that Temari had already left.

Her journey to Konoha was initiated the moment she had heard her brother say Naruto knew the creator. She immediately ran for the forest smashing any unfortunate man, with the pleasure of finding her, out of the way with her large fan. Her mind wandered as she leapt from tree to tree of all the ways she could murder the man that wrote the book.

She could wait in his home, hiding behind his bathroom door. Than she'd wait until she could catch him with his pants down, until she finally attacked. She could castrate him for what he had done and ruin the pleasures he got out of his own books. Then she'd smile a laugh, and whisper in his ear "Think before you write, that's what got you here.

She shook her head vigorously, trying to regain focus on the travel to the village lest she get lost in the vast woods between the leaf and sand villages.

She could sneak into his home as he slept, when nobody could save him. Place exploding notes along the floor, all around his bed. When he woke up in his groggy state he would unknowingly walk right onto the notes. The notes would then explode leaving his corpse in many unrecognizable pieces.

She shook her head to free her mind again as she looked forward only to see she was already within Konoha. She ducked into the ramen shop, which Naruto could often be found lurking within. Luckily for her today was no exception, and Naruto was sitting at the counter too obsessed with his ramen to notice an explosion let alone her entrance.

She sat beside him and with her right hand smacked him in the back of his head. He looked around stunned for a moment until his eyes fell onto her.

"Ah Temari!" He greeted, in a way which could easily be described as nervous. "What brings you to Konoha?" He continued obviously trying to plan a course of action. Her response was prevented as another, much older man came into the shop and sat in the free chair next to Temari. "Well it was nice catching up." Naruto said about to run from the scene.

"No, you'll stay right here until you tell me who writes these paradise books." Temari commanded grabbing him by the collar of his jacket. The man next to her seemed to stir to life.

"Oh you're a fan? I write those books, its nice to see I have women readers as well. My book must be doing even better than I thought!" Jiraiya said cheerfully. He turned from his position to look at her only to have his face dropped as he looked upon Temari's infuriated face.

"You're the pervert who wrote that book about me?" Temari asked as she swung down her fan blasting Naruto and the old man out of the building. Naruto took this as his chance to leave and ran off leaving Jiraiya alone to contend with the furious Temari.

"I told ya, you pervert! She is going to kill you!" Naruto yelled as he ran from the chaos he knew was about to occur.

"So I finally get to see up close the beautiful woman, that inspired me greater than even the most beautiful angel could have." Jiraiya mused. Temari's face softened for a moment. Had he just called her beautiful. Her face regained its rage again as she remembered the passages she had read. "So my beautiful muse, why have you sought me out?" Jiraiya asked as though unabashed that she had attacked him.

"You wrote such filth about me! You have to pay!" She yelled swinging out her fan sending ga large wave of slicing wind at him. She stood shocked to see that he had, not bothered dodging and instead let the wind create deep cuts withing his arms and torso.

"Forgive me, my uncontrollable beauty. What I have written is not filth, it is a tribute. A tribute I wrote upon seeing your gorgeous body and witnessing your wild nature." Jiraiya started unable to finish as a pair of lips smashed into his own.

Temari did not know what compelled her to kiss him, but as he called her gorgeous she no longer cared about what he had written. Her slender arms reached up hugging his neck tightly, as he decided to deepen the kiss she had started inviting his own tongue into her mouth. She could feel his hands holding her tiny frame against him and even pulling it closer as their kiss became even more intimate.

She lost herself to the moment and the next comprehensible moment she had, she found herself lying naked under deep green sheets next to the pervert that had written such horrible things about her, and that she felt the strongest desire she ever felt for a man before. Anxious to rid herself of his presence before he woke up she slipped out of the bed and as quietly as she could began to get dressed. As she tied the sash around her corset she heard a voice call from the bed.

"Watching you put on clothes is not nearly as fun as watching you tear them off." He commented leaning up in bed watching her. A slight blush rushed to her cheeks as he spoke. She suddenly felt her anger for him bubble again. In a swift move she had grabbed her fan from the floor and slammed it into his stomach making him bend forward in pain.

"Don't you ever put me in one of your stories again." Temari commanded running out of his home as fast as she could, a wave of embarrassment compelling her forward.

Jiraiya did not attempt to stop the girl from running. According to Naruto Temari had in actuality been fifteen, and the last thing he wanted was to be seen chasing a child down the streets. He also couldn't leave home when he had the greatest inspiration for a new story.

AN: Ok well that's it. Sorry if It sucks, I turned into a Temari Jiraiya (Mostly one-way Jiraiya as a stalker) and I had to get this out of my system. So thank you for reading a review of your opinion would be greatly appreciated.

Valerie


End file.
